Secrets

Underneath my skin:
  There hide words I don’t dare to speak.
Scathing enough to corrode you.

Perfection never was quite perfect.
  It just smiles in the limelight:
Transfixing.

Behind my eyes:
  There lies a cynicism of confusion.
Unidentified treasons.

Reasons to lie and take the stand,
  The devil’s advocate;
In the godly presence.

So dark from sadness,
  Too high on love,
Privacy’s a privilege I wish to keep.

Perhaps a role too realistic:
  Unwanted and cherished in the same sentence:
Watching like a hawk for weakness.

You don’t see the hurt when I’m alone.
  You don’t see when the hatred comes to light.
I do these things in private.

Histrionic and far too lazy:
  Hiding in plain sight.
Convinced of solitary existence.

“I hate you!”
  Spit rolls down my face,
But I’ll turn the other cheek and keep the tears in check.

Perfection asks too much if this is the case.
  I’ll resign and sing in the same key.
Lives on such fine lines are so hard to lead.

Give me a shot to stop my mouth.
  I need this one moment to be the centre of my universe,
Then go back to being an unaccounted.

Fearful of my own errors,
  I’ll make every excuse
Then stab myself through the heart.

The unsung hero here is you.
  Celebrated for being more than me.
Youth will always be the more graceful.

So scared to tell you what I think everyday,
  So scared I’ll not have any secrets left.
I’ll write these corrosive words
  On the nerve endings in my skin.
And let you feel them in my touch.